I love my parents. They’re truly the coolest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting in my life, and I am endlessly grateful that by some miraculous force pushing in this universe I had the honor to be born as their child. I talk to them about everything. I do everything with them. Every good part about me I learned from them. As a 26 year old, I felt like I had to do them the favor of growing up and out, if any reason more than to be the adult that they have always wanted me to be.
I’m a very dependent person. My Mom has done just about everything for me, if I don’t know how to do something I call her. I call her to ask her if my food’s gone bad, why I’m breaking out, to endlessly complain, to cry, to laugh. Everything. I need her for everything. I will forever be her child. My dad is my best friend, we are goofs together. He is my personality. I knew that living in my parents house, I would never learn how to do this on my own because if I’m being honest… I could have comfortable lived with them forever, and never gotten sick of it.
So I’ve been talking about it for years, and this year I finally mustered up the courage (and the money) to move out. I decided I’d write this post because well, I realized that like me a lot of people don’t even know where to start. I didn’t drag my parents into any part of my moving process because I wanted to learn so so so badly. It wasn’t smooth, it was probably the most stressful time of my life, and it was amazing.
YOU NEED CREDIT
Don’t gasp. Once upon a time, I had no credit. Once upon a time was like, a few months ago. Nothing had ever been put in my name, no college loans, no credit cards, no leases, nothing at all. I had no credit history. Which I’ve learned can be almost as bad as having bad credit, well not really, but it is super fucking annoying. A lot of realtors wouldn’t even respond to my emails when I told them neither I nor my boyfriend had credit. Literally mid conversation, they’d read it, and just never say another word. So if you’re planning on moving out anytime soon and have no credit open up a credit card right fucking NOW. There are plenty of starter cards which will protect you, that you have to put money down on, that have short spending limits. Check out Capital One and Discover. The one I got I used only for food when I’m eating out, because I get 3% cash back on food. So it’s nearly impossible for me to run up my bill. If you have not so great credit, call you credit cards and ask if you can extend your credit line to give you a better average which will give you a better score.. and start making payments on that bitch a priority. If you can get a guarantor (like a co-signer) that’s amazing. Most people won’t do it because well, you could really fuck up their credit. So if you have no where to start with moving out start there. Because if you’re like me and have no credit (or bad credit) 99% of the time, they'll ask you to put around 2 months rent down, extra. It’s trash.
FIND A REALTOR YOU CAN TRUST
I had so many apps to look at apartments, I would all day literally. I slid into the DM’s of hundreds of Trulia real estate agents, honestly, I’m sure it’s not true of everyone, but the ones I came into contact with were a little bitch sketchy. They really were charging a shit ton for little rinky dink apartments and didn’t care that I told them specifically what areas I wanted. It wasn’t like I was moving to NY for the first time, I have tons of specifications. I already knew my neighborhood well, and I didn’t want to be in some weird up and coming area that I probably went to a sketchy house party in when I was 15. So sadly, I found a general listing on Facebook and the nicest woman reached out to me who worked at a real estate agency, it was a small family owned place and they were so nice and really helped me out. If anyone Uptown seriously needs an agency let me know I’ll them to you. If you get bad vibes from someone, just walk out. The first place I saw the guy basically knew we would get denied but still took our application fee and I had to fight like hell to get it back. This is money were talking about and be weary of it.
ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR BUDGET
Once again, that first apartment we looked at… it was in the perfect area, it was beautiful, redone, and about 200$ over our budget. Which didn’t truly seem horrible. But it was, when you factor in that cable is about 100$ a month, light and gas is about 60-ish, food will be at least 50$ a week, and we didn’t even think of that when we put our money down on it. I was so relieved when we got denied. The first month of moving, you couldn’t even imagine the amount of money you’ll spend. On actually moving, and for things down to… I don’t know, spatulas. Like who ever knew just how many THINGS you need. And not like fake need like I need those sneakers, like you literally can’t function without pots, pans, plates, condiments, spices, sheets, hangers, cutlery, utensils, it never stops. It’s been almost two months, and I just now kind of feel like I have enough things to do my normal day to day. Even with saying that, I still haven’t even begun to furnish our office section of the living room. I still don’t even have an ottoman or a real coffee table. It’s endless. So yeah, maybe on paper you can convince yourself that you 200$ a month isn’t that much extra but trust me, every dollar counts. You don’t even realize how much money you will be spending. And also, save as much money as humanly possible, you will never regret it.
Before you get the apartment, know that you’re going to need a lot of information. W4’s, ID’s, Proof of addresses, Bank statements. All that. So get it together, go to staples and scan it all into one hard drive. Save it on Google DOCs so you can just straight email it, because once you find a place you’re going to have to act fast. If I were you, I’d do what I did. Save for a while, wait until the winter (because rent is cheaper in the winter) plan and then pounce. At least in NY, apartments fly. I mean they're rented out in a week. So don't start looking until you have all your money saved up, and once you start looking be ready for the process. Then once you get the apartment, you have to pack. Only take what’s necessary. Like, that shirt you haven’t worn since middle school.. donate it. You don’t need to bring that dead energy into your new place. Purge, and then pack. Also, if your friends are your movers make you you tape down all the drawers of your chest of drawers. Caused a lot of issues for me.
CRY IF YOU NEED TO
I didn’t want my boyfriend to see at first, because I didn’t want him to think that I wasn’t ecstatic to live with him, but I cried almost everyday for a week. Then I told him and he thought I was ridiculous but he still hugged me and told me it was fine. I was a wreck though. I missed waking up and ordering bagels with my parents, and eating them on the couch while watching House Hunters. I missed my Mom’s cooking, the comfort, and I was scared. So scared. I still miss my parents all the time, but I’m better. I feel like no one prepared me or warned me of that. There was a moment when I was alone in my apartment and looked around and sobbed because I knew I was never just going to go back home to my parents. I do obviously all the time, but it’s just not the same. I know when I go home I’m going to leave again and go back to my place. It’s like closing the book to my child hood. I would cry right now thinking about this, if I wasn’t in the laundromat. So if you're crying in your partially furnished new apartment missing your mom, just know you are not alone.
Just stop and take a breath. Remind yourself that you're doing something huge that you should be proud of. Who cares if people do it all the time, you're doing this and you've never done it before. I was so thankful to get to do it with my boyfriend, who was feelings all the feels with me. But just know you're never alone. You have a cheering section everywhere even if it's some random blog reminding you you can do it. I've had to do a lot of adult things the last few months, and I've realized that... they're just things. They're black and white. You save money or you don't. You wake up on time or you're late. It's a choice, it's easy if you let it be. So just start where you want to start. This went all over the place, I'll blame mercury retrograde.